Sleeper

SHANE MILLER SLEEP DIARY:

Went to bed at: Late.

How long it took to fall asleep: Forever. I have insomnia. Duh.

Number of caffeinated beverages you had consumed: Zero. Thanks for advising me to quit!

My stress level is off the charts.

I can't sleep right on a normal day, and lately my days are filled with the best kind of chaos.

My ex-wife and husband number two are filming in Poland for three months,

so I'm turning down movie parts to focus on the most important role of my life-

impossibly charming and somewhat capable young single dad.

My son won't stop asking questions.

My daughter won't brush her teeth unless I sing her showtunes.

Our regular nanny quit.

The only person I could trust to hire as a temp nanny is my best friend's sister.

If Mary Poppins and Bill Murray had a baby it would be Willa.

Fresh out of grad school and beautifully weird.

She hates my movies, and my kids adore her.

I couldn't sleep last night because she wasn't here.

Turns out I can't sleep unless she's in my house now.

Turns out she's what's been missing from my life all along.

If my friend had any idea what I want to do to his gorgeous troublemaker of a sister,

he would smother me with a pillow.

The chances of us succeeding as a couple are about as good as that little indie movie

that I made being a huge hit.

But it's a chance I'm going to take.